When you imagine a coach - whether it’s a personal trainer, health coach, or executive coach - it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking they have it all figured out. That they’ve mastered every element of their craft, their personal lives, and the challenges they coach you through. But the reality is very different: even the best coaches don’t have all the answers, and that’s exactly what makes them effective guides.

The Value of Guiding, Not Dictating

According to leading experts in the coaching world, such as those at the International Coaching Federation (ICF), the core of great coaching lies in the ability to facilitate self-discovery, not provide all the answers.

Coaches aren’t here to solve problems for you, but to help you navigate your own challenges by asking the right questions. It’s about empowering you to find your own solutions, which are often more lasting and impactful than any advice a coach could give.

This principle is true across all coaching disciplines. A fitness coach doesn't complete your reps for you; they guide you in the right direction, providing feedback and encouragement. In health and wellness coaching, the coach helps you map out a sustainable plan tailored to your specific needs, while also helping you stay accountable. And in life or executive coaching, it’s about helping clients see through the fog of their daily pressures to make clear, conscious decisions about their next steps.

Vulnerability in Coaching Is a Strength

A common misconception in the coaching industry is that coaches need to maintain a perfect image - that they are always strong, always clear-headed, and always on top of their game. Their social media feed is often a manicured highlight reel. Positioning yourself as perfect probably puts potential clients off.

However, thought leaders like Brené Brown, who has researched vulnerability extensively, have demonstrated that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength. When coaches embrace their own challenges and share them with clients appropriately, it can foster deeper trust and connection.

My favourite way to think of this is to share scars NOT scabs. Scars show there was a struggle but you've healed. They are challenges, struggles and obstacles you have overcome and moved on from. Scabs, on the other hand are messy, gross and shows you are still in the middle of the healing process. At this stage you haven't figured out your path and been through the journey of healing.

So, when sharing stories with clients to show empathy and engage on a human level make sure it is a story of something you have overcome and moved on from. For example, tell them about how you used to struggle to manage weekend binging and it affected your ability to lose weight, but several years ago you moved on from the 'clean' versus 'dirty' foods mindset. Doing this allowed you to improve your relationship with your favourite foods and means that you can enjoy them in moderation regularly as part of your new lifestyle unlike when you used to fall into a trap of avoiding them until Friday night before binging all weekend. Emphasise this change worked several years ago and is still working now. That you're happy, healthy, and lean whilst also being able to enjoy your favourite foods. This story showcases empathy and authority. Two key factors all clients want in a coach.

In my own practice as a coach, I have found that sharing my struggles with maintaining balance - especially in juggling my own fitness, business, and family life - has helped me build more authentic relationships with my clients. For instance, one of my executive clients was facing burnout, and by being open about my own methods for managing stress and the moments where I falter, we were able to connect on a deeper level. This kind of transparency can be a powerful tool for coaches in any field, from health to business.

Continuous Learning and Growth

A coach's journey is not static. Whether you’re coaching someone on their fitness journey, guiding them to better health habits, or helping them navigate corporate challenges, there’s always more to learn. As renowned coaching expert Marshall Goldsmith often says, "What got you here won’t get you there." This statement rings true for both clients and coaches.

In the evolving landscape of coaching, continuous learning and professional development are essential. For instance, I make it a point to pursue further education to stay on top of the latest strategies. The same applies to all fields: personal trainers must stay updated on exercise science, life coaches on emotional intelligence, and health coaches on the latest nutrition insights.

This investment in growth doesn't just make coaches more knowledgeable - it allows them to bring cutting-edge techniques and perspectives to their clients, which ultimately drives better outcomes.

The Coach’s Role Is to Create Clarity, Not Provide Certainty

Coaching, at its core, is about creating clarity for others. Even though coaches may not always have their own lives perfectly figured out, they excel at seeing through the noise in their clients' lives. Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, frequently emphasised the power of understanding before being understood. This is the essence of coaching - coaches help their clients see options and opportunities that weren’t visible before.

In my experience, I often compare coaching to helping someone find a light switch in a dark room. I might not have all the answers to my own problems, but when it comes to guiding clients, I can often quickly illuminate their path. Whether it's a fitness client struggling with motivation or a corporate executive feeling overwhelmed, the ability to help clients find clarity in their own circumstances is what drives results.

Embrace the Journey of Coaching

So, if you're a coach - whether in fitness, health, life, or executive domains remember this: you don’t need to have everything figured out. Your role is to guide, not to dictate; to encourage self-discovery, not to provide all the answers. Vulnerability, learning, and clarity are your greatest tools, not a pretense of perfection.

For clients seeking a coach, choose someone who values these principles - someone who isn’t afraid to be real, and who continuously works on their own growth while guiding you through yours.

In the end, the most impactful coaches are those who recognise that every journey is unique, including their own.